Do you feel like life is just one big endless “to-do list”? And you’ll take some time to be happy at some point in the future? Stop that. It’s futile and you’ll be forever chasing the carrot on the stick

I say this because I do it myself (more so in the past) and see it with others – convinced that life will be much better and we’ll be content and happy as soon as we do X,Y,Z – as soon as we do those things we’ll be able to stop and just be happy…  As soon as we get that task or project done, as soon as work is finished, the daily chores are done, as soon as the weekend arrives, when summer arrives, go on that holiday, get that car, get that house, when we earn more money, when we save up enough, when we meet the right person, after we get married, have a baby (then another!) when the kids are finished school/college, when we’ve paid the mortgage off, when we get enough in our pension pot, when we retire, when we’re not needed for the grandkids, when we get that major health condition resolved…then we’ll slowdown and just be…..happy and content! Er, not quite….

A quote from Alfred D. Souza sums up thsi well when he said:

“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.” 

So the truth is, life will always be filled with things to do and challenges (however great or small) to overcome, so if you are waiting for something to be done and out the way before you can allow yourself to be fully happy – then let me tell you that that point will never arrive – your happiness will always be delayed, as there is always something to be done that will be replaced by another milestone, and another – and we can live most of our lives like this –  – thinking we’ll just be happy when that thing is sorted…. It might not be until we come to the twilight years, maybe retirement, when we realise there are just other load of things we need to get sorted and the idea of everything being resolved never actually arrives…

We can live all our lives this way, constantly busy doing, chasing, seeking and it can be such a shame that we never really allowed ourselves to frequently stop, take stock, reflect and just allow ourselves to be… happy. The only time you can make space to be happy is right now, today. Not next week/next month, next year, in 5/10/20 years, but now! If not now, when? 

Yes it’s good to have goals. Goals can give direction of travel and purpose (which is useful – but your ultimate happiness shouldn’t be bound up in achieving the goals – as we quickly move on to the next – and you’ll end up not enjoying a big chunk of your life) there will always be bumps in the road of life and challenges too – that is just life. Accept it. The key is to stop putting off or delaying your happiness, thinking it depends on achieving certain goals. It doesn’t. Your happiness needs to be prioritised, and I mean, right now, today, everyday – and not put off to somewhere down the line. And that starts with realising the importance of now – and being more fully present in the now.

Don’t miss your whole life

There is an excellent quote by Eckhart Tolle about how we are rarely present in the now;

“Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now”

Eckhart Tolle

This quote is a profound commentary on the human tendency to overlook the present in the pursuit of the future. It points to a common habit of the human mind, which is to postpone living in the present moment, under the illusion that some future moment will be more significant, more satisfying, or simply better. The quote emphasises the importance of mindfulness, of being fully present in the ‘now’. It suggests that by constantly chasing the future, we are essentially missing out on our lives as they unfold in the present. The ‘now’ is all we truly have, it’s where life happens. By engaging fully with the present, we open ourselves to truly experiencing life.

All we have is now

One of my favourite statements to make me take time out to savour life is “All we have is now” It emphasises the profound importance of the present moment in our lives. It suggests that while our minds are often wandering and dwelling on the past or anxiously anticipate the future, the only true reality we can fully experience and influence is the present. The past, though it shapes who we are, is unchangeable, and the future, with all its possibilities, remains uncertain. By focusing on the “now,” having our minds fully engaged in the new and not distracted, we can engage more deeply with our experiences, make meaningful choices, and appreciate the richness of life as it unfolds. The sentiment of “all we have is now” is a call to action, a call to mindfulness, urging us to be fully present, and savour the now. We can only ever live in the now, and it is where life truly happens – our best experiences are when we are full engaged and focussed in the now.

Live your life like you would climb a mountain

I’m into my hiking and there’s a great quote that is relevant to hiking, but it’s a profound metaphor for life:

Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance toward the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point. Climb slowly, steadily, enjoying each passing moment; and the view from the summit will serve as a fitting climax for the journey.

Harold V Melchert

I love this quote as it reminds me to enjoy the journey, the “now” moments, and stop being so fixated on reaching a distant goal. In the past when hiking I’d be so focussed on getting to the summit of a mountain – I’d not really take the time out to enjoy the journey and views on the way up! And then when you get to the summit – you enjoy the views for a short while, but then you soon shift your focus onto the next goal and getting back down. A bit like in life! So now I try and enjoy the journey of a hike as well as my journey through life!

 I guess the real trick is learning how to just stop and be happy on this journey, daily! Taking time out to savour life and just be present, and happy, and not thinking you can only be happy when you arrive at a distant destination in the future (which never fully arrives).

Keys to being happier today

We can definitely get bound up in being so focused on working towards a future goal – that we miss being in the now. It’s a human tendency it seems to want more than what we have. And this can make us disatisfied. One key to counteracting this and making us more content in the present moment is learning to be more grateful, for the day to day things may of us take for granted…health, people in our life, food, security, home comforts. Being grateful requires going right back to basics and imaging if we had nothing! I enjoy wild camping, but if you do it for a sustained period (especially in tough conditions) you do miss a load of things you normally take for granted. Try it – go wild camping for a good few days, or watch those TV Shows like ‘Alone’ where people have to survive, alone for weeks and months on end – an picture yourself in those circumstances. It certainly helps you get a better perspective on gratitude – and learn to be grateful for the so-called basics on a daily basis! You come to understand what you really need, and what are imagined desires. And more often than not – what we really need – we already have! Certainly in the western world anyway! Being grateful is said to be the opposite of depression so practicing gratitude can make us happy right now, today – so we don’t have to wait

Here’s another thing we can contemplate along with being more grateful. How often do you do the things you really love doing? Do you do it daily? Weekly? Monthly? Yearly? Whatever it is you love – ranging from the simple stuff to more involving (brainstorm it – you might be surprised!) – just get more of it in your life – daily if possible! Even if you just take 30 mins out your day to focus on something that you really enjoy and makes you happy – do it. Do it as often as you can! I know not many of us can spend all day only doing what we enjoy – but even just a spending a little time on those things means we don’t have to wait a long time until we can be happy. We can have those times daily! A day not doing something that makes us happy is a wasted day! Here’s an example – Love music? Take time out to play your favourite tunes and really listen – crank it up – enjoy it – savour it. 

When I thought about what actually made me happy, I realised those things were actually quite simple (and achievable)  and things that I could experience every day; spending quality time with my family, a good walk outside in the great outdoors, having fun and a bit of craic with friends, really listening to some great music, savouring nice food, chilling in the house or garden, exercising whilst feeling grateful to be healthy & mobile, a nice bath! and just feeling, well, content. Being content is a big part of happiness, it’s satisfaction, it means you’re not chasing, your just being. After all your are a Human Being, and not a Human Doing. 

There is a difference between knowing and understanding…

You might read all this and think yeh, yeh, we need to live more in the present. Live for today, do more of what we love yada yada yada – and it resonates for a minute or two. Then we go back into our habitual “to-do” life. Sometimes you really need jolting into a new way of thinking.

I got a bit of a shock when a very good friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer in his early forties (and passed away within 6 months). I was shocked as he wasn’t old, and you always think there is some kind of life guarantee/unwritten contract that you make it to 70/80 – and there is lots of time in life. Spoiler alert –  There isn’t lots of time. The worst can happen at any time. It hit home with my mate passing away – it always does more when you know someone well who it happens too (I hope writing this can jolt you a bit without having to lose someone close too soon). Look around you – as morbid as it might sound – people pass away at any age. More so as people enter their 50s/60s (which may seem relatively young). And if they don’t pass away – people can get serious health conditions that severely limit what they can do – and it often happens when people retire – when they finally have the money – but then they don’t have the health. Apologies for putting a downer on things – but its reality.

The experience seeing my mate in his early 40’s having a terminal illness, made me see clearly that without your health, you literally have nothing. With good health, you have everything you need, the rest is a bonus and can be worked out. Good health of those closest to you is also to be valued. This realisation links into the gratitude mentioned earlier – if you have your health – you should feel very grateful – and happy – and this is something you should never take for granted – and be grateful and happy for daily. Drill it into yourself – you will feel instantly happier for it.

Don’t wait….

So there you are, I hope this perspective gets across the point that you shouldn’t wait / delay until we can be happy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should just sack off all responsibilities and live life in careless abandonment. Purpose is important and goals are important, I still have goals, in my personal life and work – but those are linked to my ambition and giving me a direction of travel and not my ultimate happiness. I have an eye on the future and where I’m going, but certainly have an eye on the present too- and try not to fritter my time away and distract myself with pointless crap! Everyday I try and take time out to be mindful, to be appreciative, to savour, to do something I really enjoy and to be happy on my journey. 

Have I cracked it? Always living in the moment? No, far from it. It’s a battle with the “to-do” monkey mind, but I try and build the habit of being more in the present and savour things. I also happen think it’s unrealistic to expect to be happy all the time, life is bound up with challenging/tough times (It’s challenge that makes us grow if you want to reframe that more positively). However I have come to realise that my happiness depends on rather simple needs, and it’s something that I can feel on a daily basis – if I just get off the treadmill of modern life for a time and enjoy my days more and allow myself to be happy daily.

I once read that your future self in 25 years would love to be back where you are right now, and it’s true. We have a lot going for us – don’t waste your time – don’t put off your happiness until a future point that may never arrive – get more of it in your life right now!  

 There is no better time than right now to be happy. Don’t wait to be happy.

Do it today. Do it now. Stop. Be. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy being with your best people. Enjoy that view. Enjoy that food. Enjoy that music.

Enjoy being who you are and how young and heathy you are right now because in 25 years you would swap it all to be where you are now.

Some tips to become happier, now

Here’s some practical tips that might furter help you to enjoy happiness sooner

1. Gratitude Practice: Taking a moment each day to acknowledge and appreciate the things we often take for granted can significantly boost happiness levels immediately. Take a moment daily to think about ‘what went well’ and you will start to see yourself looking for the positives and not the negatives.

2. Mindfulness: Engaging fully in the present moment can bring a sense of contentment and peace, whether it’s savouring a cup of coffee or enjoying a walk in nature.

3. Connection: Nurturing relationships with loved ones and cultivating meaningful connections with others can provide a deep sense of fulfillment and joy.

4. Self-Care: Prioritising self-care activities such as exercise, adequate sleep, and relaxation can enhance overall well-being and happiness.

5. Pursuing Passions: Carving out time for hobbies and interests that bring joy and fulfilment can add richness to daily life.

6. Setting Realistic Goals: Establishing achievable goals that align with personal values and interests can provide a sense of purpose and motivation without overwhelming oneself.

7. Celebrating Small Wins: Acknowledging and celebrating progress, no matter how small, can foster a positive mindset and increase motivation to pursue larger goals.

8. Embracing Imperfection: Recognising that perfection is unattainable and embracing imperfections can lead to greater self-compassion and happiness.

Summary – it’s not about the pursuit of happiness – it’s finding happiness in the pursuit

I hope this little article has made you think about what you are chasing. And in the end, it’s not about chasing happiness as some distant reward waiting at the finish line—it’s about finding it in the very act of moving forward, in the now. The effort, the growth, the small steps, the setbacks, the lessons… that is where life is lived. Happiness isn’t something you arrive at once everything is done; it’s something you experience along the way, in the pursuit itself. When you stop treating life like a problem to be solved and start seeing it as a journey to be experienced, everything shifts. The climb, not the summit, is the point. And when you realise that, you stop waiting to be happy—and start living it, right here, right now.